Challenge Accepted

Today is the last day of school for my students in the Portland Public School District. It's been a wild year for me teaching at two high schools, taking maternity leave, traveling with one of my groups for the first time, and being mom to two small ones. I've been meditating a lot on what I've gained from this challenging school year and I've had some real epiphanies.

I've been working to get a music class started for the International Baccalaureate program at Lincoln High School this last year. I was discussing some of the arrangements for it next year with the coordinator and was saying how difficult the coursework is. Her response was that perhaps it was good that it was so hard because sometimes those are the circumstances that students learn the most from. And I realized that she was right.

I've always chased the path of most resistance because I know it makes me better. Sometimes it comes at a price. More than once I've found myself dealing with self-doubt, fear of failure, and emotional and physical fatigue because of what I commit myself to. Sometimes it really isn't worth it. But I've found that most of the time I can't imagine how I would have gone without the experience.

Lately I've been working on singing some rather challenging literature with Resonance Ensemble. When I jumped in to the first rehearsal I felt like I was in over my head. I hoped that perhaps it was just because I was sight-reading 20th century atonal craziness, but I kept feeling that way. I practiced and practiced hoping to somehow get this crazy music to stick into my head and I just kept feeling like it was beyond me. Even so I kept at it. Last night at rehearsal I finally felt like I was really getting it down! There is nothing that matches the feeling of satisfaction the comes from overcoming what feels like an insurmountable obstacle. If I could bottle that feeling and sell it I'd be rich!

As I regroup from this school year and start planning for the next I have to think about what obstacles I will put in front of my students and in front of myself. I held an audition for my advanced choir for the first time at Lincoln and was surprised at how many students showed up! It's just more proof of how much more worthwhile it is to pursue a good challenge. I'm so grateful to have a profession and a passion that allows me to always have something to look forward to because there is never an end to what I can teach and learn from a good challenge.